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Salararius 
Postmaster
Joined: 26 Sep 2011
Location: USA
Status: Offline
Points: 519 |
 Topic: Non-Response Ettiquiette
Posted: 28 Jun 2012 at 13:14 |
What is the consensus on people that do not respond to IGMs? Is it rude? Is it hostile (in a passive aggressive sense)? Is it disrespectful?
Yes, it's a game, but there is a significant social aspect to any MMO game and I'm not talking about chat (I don't really do that) I'm talking about an introductory IGM simply saying "hi" between players with cities near one another.
If you send out a message and get no reply (not even a perfunctory one), how do you feel (react, pre-judge, etc...)?
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invictusa
Forum Warrior
Joined: 16 Dec 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 488 |
Posted: 28 Jun 2012 at 13:20 |
Reads an IGM and never replies? It pisses me off. I came close to losing my cool over it and making him/her sorry for not responding, but one of my alliances gave me stand down orders.
In this particular case the person was likely being perma-sat. Perhaps that is what the situation is in most of these cases.
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...and miles to go before I sleep.
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HonoredMule
Postmaster General
Joined: 05 Mar 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 1650 |
Posted: 28 Jun 2012 at 13:36 |
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When people read an email and then decide they shouldn't handle it personally (i.e. sitting for another) they should mark the email unread. I don't know if that affects whether it appears read to the sender, but it probably does.
Recipients should always have the courtesy to provide at least a polite acknowledgement of having been addressed, but a) there may be exceptions in the form of high-profile players who get a lot of unsolicited messages, and b) failing to respond is far from a punishable offense.
If someone won't reply to me, I may be miffed but unless there's an actual conflict to resolve I let it go and don't bother attempting any further communication.
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"Apparently, quoting me is a 'thing' now."
- HonoredMule
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twilights
Postmaster
Joined: 21 May 2012
Status: Offline
Points: 915 |
Posted: 28 Jun 2012 at 13:59 |
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yes u have to remember that people only have to log in every so often in this game, if a person is babysitting an account they usually dont go into mail and to answer could be in violation of representing yourself as another person in the game, i wouldnt be alarmed, i would just be aware and make a personal note to watch that account, watch the caravans coming back and forth and to which other accounts and then contact those people who if the account is being babysat can respond to ur mails, if u see no activity then the account might be inactive
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abstractdream
Postmaster General
Joined: 02 Oct 2011
Location: Oarnamly
Status: Offline
Points: 1857 |
Posted: 28 Jun 2012 at 14:06 |
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HM's reply reflects my opinion as well.
Marking as unread does show on the senders end. I have seen a message I sent that was showing as read show as unread later (the recipiant wanted to get back to it later and does get lots of mail) so I know that works.
High profile players will often not respond to mail, whether on purpose or accidentally because of the sheer numbers. I do as HM suggests, "let it go and don't bother attempting any further communication."
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Bonfyr Verboo
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geofrey
Postmaster General
Joined: 31 May 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 1013 |
Posted: 28 Jun 2012 at 15:27 |
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If you would like a reply and are not getting it, and the matter is of upmost importance. A trade blockade is a good way to get their attention without destroying anything.
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bansisdead
Postmaster
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Location: UK
Status: Offline
Points: 609 |
Posted: 28 Jun 2012 at 15:28 |
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If I was walking down my street and I saw a neighbour, I would say hello, if they did not respond to me I would think how rude, but in no way would I 'declare war on them'. I certainly wouldn't waste my time getting worked up over a non responsive email, especially in a game I chose to play and enjoy. I just think f*** it, nvm... In the last couple of weeks Ive sent out about 40 mails related to recruiting for an alliance, I have had 3 replies... Live and let live...
Edited by bansisdead - 28 Jun 2012 at 15:28
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The_Dude
Postmaster General
Joined: 06 Apr 2010
Location: Texas
Status: Offline
Points: 2396 |
Posted: 28 Jun 2012 at 16:17 |
Sending an unsolicited mail places no obligation on the recipient to do anything. If you send a mail making a request/demand, a non-response will indicate either a technical difficulty or a rejection of the request. I reckon it is up to the sender to attempt a follow-up depending on the specific circumstances.
I receive a significant number of mails (most, by far) that are very poorly written - failing to specify the "who, what, when, where, how, and why" and failing to state a desired remedy. [Often times, it seems these mails assume I can hear the voices in the head of the author, too - which I can not - so the author will need to tell me what is in his head.] My position is that if the writer is unwilling to provide me with the foregoing in the initial communication, then I am not going to spend my time attempting to gather the information on my own.
I also see a lot of mails that suggest the author (incorrectly) believes that threats/rants/CAPS/personal insults are effective means of communication and dispute resolution. Mails like these are easily ignored.
Finally, if I have stated my position and receive a reply attempting to re-argue the same matter, I will typically not respond as I would only be repeating myself which wastes everyone's time.
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Salararius
Postmaster
Joined: 26 Sep 2011
Location: USA
Status: Offline
Points: 519 |
Posted: 28 Jun 2012 at 16:55 |
Hmmm, some very insightful points. From the responses it seems that there are cases of "reasonable" communication that I would say one could expect replies from and cases of "unreasonable" communications that one could not.
If I'm a "high profile" player and a player who is 300 squares away from my nearest city sends an IGM asking for help (in any manner) it seems "unreasonable" for him to expect a reply.
If I settle a town closer to another's cities than anyone else and they try to open the lines of communication with a gift of resources and an IGM then is it "reasonable" for them to expect a "hello neighbor" back?
If you are the contact point for you alliance is it "reasonable" that you will have set up a structure such that you can respond to people who want to contact your alliance. This need not be as simple as an answer to every IGM but a combination of that with instructions and/or requirements on the alliance page for contacts (RTFM applies here).
If you've contacted a large alliance isn't it "unreasonable" to expect a response within a week?
If I've sent you five (or even two) IGMs asking the same question in the last day isn't it "unreasonable" for me to expect another reply?
I don't understand why it's unreasonable to expect a sitter to reply with some sort of "I'll get back to you in 1 week (or 2 or 1 month, etc...)" sort of delay for "reasonable" communications?
I heard some talk about how "busy" some are. If a player is too busy to send any sort of response to "reasonable" contact (very limited quantity), then why are they playing a MMO in the first place?
I think that lines of communication are important. I think that any player who chooses to ignore "reasonable" communications should not be surprised if it results in a hostile response. This is how I try to play. I don't necessarily think that it be open war but that player shouldn't be surprised by some opportunistic thieving or a chilly relationship. This isn't Farmville, at some level this is a game of conflict and I think that ignoring communications is a step (a tiny one in most instances) in that direction.
I don't know, I'm still thinking this through.
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bansisdead
Postmaster
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Location: UK
Status: Offline
Points: 609 |
Posted: 28 Jun 2012 at 17:06 |
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Salararius, I don't think its reasonable or unreasonable to expect a response from a mail, just good manners. Not everyone has good manners, another point not all cultures share the same ideas of what good manners are. So what I think is reasonable some ones else may think is totally unreasonable. I think it would be unreasonable for me to place my own expectations on another who may come from a totally alien culture to mine. Even very similar cultures such as the UK and the USA have totally different expectations and ideas of what is good/bad manners.
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Non-Response Ettiquiette
