Scene opens over a Bladerunner-esque cityscape - a commercial apocalypse version of London in 2025.
The camera pans over the skyscrapers to a large ziggurat labelled "
Illyriad Global Corp" in mile-high neon-letters, before zooming slowly up to an illuminated window, high in the peak of the pyramid.
Through the glass, inside a room dominated by vast computer monitors and 3-D holgraphic displays of the
Kingdom of Illyriad, GM's ThunderCat and Stormcrow sit at either ends of a 20-ft long boardroom table, deep in a discussion about the future direction of
Illyriad.
ThunderCat continues his last point.
"Stormcrow, I do understand the need to turn Orcs into a race of intergalactic space aliens... and I guess we can run with your idea for a '
Win All Battles' Prestige spend option as well... but the consensus is that your plan to merge '
Illyriad' into '
Hello Kitty Online' might be a step too far...
Research shows that the playerbase don't want a world of sunshine, rainbows and doe-eyed puppies!"
Responding wearily, Stormcrow speaks slowly.
"After our merger the interface will be in Japanese; the players won't actually know what's going on anyway.
So will they even care that we replaced Siege Engines with roaming bands of mischievous pixies who spread huggle-points to everyone on the map?"
A brief silence.
"Well, if it must be done... then it must be done." says ThunderCat, his face a mask of dismay.
"But how will we break the news to the players?
The forums will go
mental!"
A much longer silence, punctuated only by the pendulous raindrops hitting the glass roof of the pyramid's apex, a nexus above their heads.
Stormcrow's fingers tap the boardroom table as he wonders how they can slip this past the players.
And then suddenly, the moment of clarity is visible in his deep-set eyes.
"I have it! This just might work...!" he says, punching the air with his fist.
"We publish all the changes on the Announcements section of the forum..."
ThunderCat's harsh bark of laughter interrupts Stormcrow's sentence.
Raising a hand for silence, Stormcrow continues on.
"But at the same - and this is the clever bit...
We make a post a few seconds later in the
Suggestions Forum...
Saying that we are going to change the server clock and unit arrival times to
Daylight Savings Time."
Moments pass - an eon stretched out in seconds - as a visibly shaken ThunderCat stares at Stormcrow as if he had sprouted wings and flown out of the window.
"But... but..." he stammers. And pauses, as it suddenly dawns on him, too.
"But... that's genius!" he shouts joyously at this
Deus Ex Machina.
"The Playerbase don't seem to care particularly about anything we do to the game unless it involves the server clock!
Just look at the forum!
From the introduction of Siege Warfare to the nerfing of diplomatic units, from new spell schools to graphic patches, from map icons to, well, anything and everything we do - no single topic has received so many posts and attention from the users than the apparently crucial issues of how the server clock displays itself onscreen!
Simply by starting a topic with the word "time" or "clock" in it, we can slip every change we've ever wanted - no matter how mad and ill-conceived it might be - under the radar and no one will ever notice it!
Wait till we introduce a discussion about whether or not to recognise leap seconds: the thread could run forever!
This is genius!"
Basking in the euphoric glow of brilliance, Stormcrow and ThunderCat crack open a well deserved bottle of 1952 Petrus and guzzle it down, marvelling at their new understanding of what makes Illyriad's players quite literally "tick".
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We return you to your previous scheduled service, below:
Edited by GM Stormcrow - 10 Apr 2010 at 14:19
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Diablito wrote:
